


It Gets Bigger

by twoseas



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DC Extended Universe, Justice League (2017), Justice League - All Media Types
Genre: Bruce Wayne Has a Big Dick, Bruce is naked, Gen, Humor, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Sexual Humor, a very tame dick joke fic, but there is enough there that if you absolutely hate superbat I would want you to know, but this is one big dick joke, does Barry understand boundaries, does Barry understand how dicks work, not explicit, not really - Freeform, not super shippy, the team reacts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-07-15 22:17:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16072475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twoseas/pseuds/twoseas
Summary: After a brush with Scarecrow, Bruce exits the Cave's shower only to face the League - completely naked unless you count the towel on his head.Diana is amused, Victor and Arthur less so, Barry and Clark can't seem to tear their eyes away, and Bruce just wanted to towel off. He didn't ask for this.





	It Gets Bigger

**Author's Note:**

> I'm in the middle of my own original writing so I didn't think I'd write another fic so soon, but the Batdick hubbub has been inordinately funny to me so I HAD to write something. I was inspired by the Batdick. 
> 
> This is based on the characterization from the Justice League movie, but it's short enough that you can probably plant your chosen version in and have it make just as much sense. 
> 
> Please, enjoy!

Bruce stepped out of the Cave’s shower and reached for the fluffy towel Alfred had left him. A few beeps sounded from the computer and Bruce moved towards the Cave proper, drying off hastily as he went. Eyes obscured by his towel as he rubbed it over his wet hair, Bruce paused when he heard a choking noise. 

Sighing as deeply as he could, Bruce lowered the towel from his head and left it around his shoulders as he looked up. “What are you all doing here?”

The gathered Justice League only gawked. 

“So naked,” Victor muttered to himself. 

Diana’s unmoved expression cracked into a small, arch smile. “Hello, Bruce. We sent you a message. I take it you didn’t get it?”

“I was in the shower,” Bruce answered amicably. 

“Why would Alfred let us down here?” Barry asked, eyes trained on Bruce’s crotch. “Did he want us to  _ see _ ?”

“Who wouldn’t?” Clark half whispered, eyes dazed. 

“Put some damn pants on,” Arthur demanded, voice an uncomfortable growl. 

“This is my cave,” Bruce told him calmly. He raised a single eyebrow. “Do I come into your ocean and tell you what to wear?”

Sneering, Arthur looked into Bruce’s eyes without allowing his gaze to drop so much as a millimeter lower. “Well, I wear pants!”

“And that’s super weird,” Bruce snorted, turning towards the computer to see what the notification had been about. Unsurprisingly, it was from the Justice League, undoubtedly about why they were all currently in his cave ogling at his nakedness. “You wear jeans in the ocean. Doesn’t that chafe? Being naked makes more sense.”

Arthur’s sneer deepened only to transform into a mortified grimace as Bruce turned away from the computer to once more face them. 

A flash of wind had Bruce closing his eyes and summoning his patience. 

“Barry, please tell me you didn’t just use your speed to get a closer look at my dick.”

Everyone looked at the speedster, Barry’s expression contorted in a pretty poor imitation of innocence. “O-of course not! That would be rude! And a violation of the bro code. You know, because we’re bros. Like how uncool would it be if I did that? Right, guys?”

Barry looked to the other Leaguers in search of support and instead was met with expressions that ranged from amusement to confusion to curiosity to disgust. 

Bruce took pity on the younger man. “I’m assuming you all had something to tell me?”

“I honestly for the life of me can’t remember,” Clark mumbled, looking absolutely embarrassed and entranced. Like Barry, he hadn’t taken his eyes off Bruce’s not so private privates the entire time. 

Victor cleared his throat pointedly. “I don’t think we’re going to get any work done until you cover that thing up.” 

Bruce didn’t see any fault in the man’s assertion, but he held onto the belief that he was allowed to be naked in his own home no matter how many coworkers showed up uninvited and barely announced. And it wasn’t as if they weren’t all adults who had seen a penis before. Or had one themselves. What was the big deal?

“I just got out of the shower because I was doused in the Scarecrow’s latest fear toxin and that suit’ll be in decontamination for days. But hey, I’m glad you’re all so concerned about the state of my cock. Thanks.”

“Aw, Bruce,” Diana chided, a teasing slant to her lips. “And I thought you were so happy to see us.”

Victor and Arthur both laughed, but Barry and Clark were too busy still staring. Bruce wondered of they’d even heard her joke. 

Bruce huffed a laugh and responded in his best Bruce Wayne™ seductive purr, “Trust me, if I was happy to see you, you’d know.”

Diana laughed good naturedly while Arthur and Victor rolled their eyes. 

Barry leaned in towards Clark and hiss whispered, “Does he mean it gets  _ bigger _ ?!”

Clark’s eyes widened a fraction as his face flushed. 

Having mercy on his friends, Bruce wrapped the towel around his waist and walked over to the sweatpants and shirt Alfred had left him. Once he was dressed, the spell was broken and his teammates were able to get back to business, filling him in on their findings about one of their recurring enemies. Once Bruce had the information and the beginnings of a plan formed, the others said their goodbyes. 

Just as Clark made to fly away, Bruce called him back. 

“Clark.”

The man paused mid air, head tilted in silent question. 

Bruce crossed his arms and smirked. “It definitely gets bigger. Just in case you were interested.”

It took a moment for the words to register, but as soon as they did, Clark was sputtering out half formed words and flying away. 

Bruce threw his head back and laughed, full bodied and completely genuine, certain that the other man could hear it. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Barry: So you're both a grower AND a shower!  
> Bruce: Barry, please get out of my bedroom. This isn't a conversation for four in the morning.


End file.
